“The sadness of death is only surpassed by the sadness of solitude,” – a doctor discovered in a heart-wrenching way with one of his patients.
The doctor knows that he is dying. So does the patient. It’s not the kind of death after a few days or weeks or months of pain. It can come within the day or anytime tomorrow.
So the doctor asked the patient if there is someone he could call. A family member or a close friend he would want to be with when he breathed his last.
The patient said there was none. No family member, no close friend. There is a niece who lives far away but they are not on speaking terms.
Tragic isn’t it? But considering the number of elderly people living in social isolation, it is not a rarity. It could happen to you and me.
What is Social Isolation
People often take social isolation and loneliness one and the same. They are not.
Social isolation is the real and physical detachment from the rest of humanity. It could be total or partial detachment.
Loneliness is a perceived detachment from the people around. You could be in the midst of a crowd, yet feel lonely. Being alone is not loneliness. It is when you when you cannot connect or get into the same wavelength of those around you.
Social isolation does not cause loneliness. In fact, a lot of people enjoy their lonesomeness.
But loneliness can result in social isolation.
Loneliness takes a long time to cure. But getting back to the raucous crowd is it all needs to cure social isolation.
Distinguishing one from the other is difficult and complex. You can be lonely or socially isolated in your lifetime. Or you may experience both at the same time.
Social isolation and loneliness share several common factors. And if prolonged, they increase the likelihood of physical and mental deterioration.
Causes of Social Isolation
The life of an elderly is like a roller coaster of emotions. So many things can happen that can drive you into isolation. But the most common are:
Loss of a loved one
The death of a spouse can be a huge blow to the surviving half. It is like losing half of one’s life. It robs you of the motivation to go on living; life becomes purposeless.
Getting over it becomes even harder in a house full of memorabilia of the departed one. Where once, you did everything together, now you do it alone – even the making of the bed.
You lose the appetite for socializing. The false condolences from friends torment you more than ease your pain.
The feeling to be alone becomes so strong, ultimately making you a recluse.
I know how it feels because I went through all these when my wife died more than ten years ago. Had not my two children filled the void she left behind, I would not have been writing this.
Illnesses and physical impairments
Physical and mental deterioration are normal consequences of aging.
Heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, and arthritis could limit your activities. Added to this is the deterioration in eyesight, hearing, and balance.
All these could make you opt to stay home instead of going out and socialize. And if you are a live-alone senior, these can lead to social isolation.
Mental health conditions and cognitive decline
One out of four seniors suffers from depression, anxiety, and dementia.
These illnesses cause memory loss and other cognitive impairments. They also make maintaining social ties difficult.
Elderly people suffering from these end up forgotten and abandoned. They become socially isolated.
Living alone
About 14 million elderly Americans live alone. Those who have a regular and frequent contact with friends and family may lead happy and fulfilling lives.
Elderly people who lack such intimacies are at risk of social isolation.
Poverty
Over 25 million Americans aged 60+ are living at or below the poverty level of $29, 425.00 per year/person. They struggle with housing and health care costs, poor nourishment, and access to transportation.
These limitations can make them withdraw from the mainstream crowd and go into social isolation.
Risks of Social Isolation
We are a social species. We need social networks (families, tribes, communities, etc.) to survive and thrive. Since we are built this way, anything that disrupts this, like social isolation, will stress your mind and body. In turn, this will have a significant impact on your health.
Because of age-related issues and the fact that plenty of seniors live alone, they are prone to these risks like:
- impaired ability to do regular activities like bathing, grooming, and preparing meals
- insufficient sleep resulting in poor immune system responses and rapid cognitive decline
- chronic illnesses like heart disease, arthritis, type 2 diabetes, dementia, and suicides
- early death
Some studies show that social isolation, with or without loneliness pose the same health risk as smoking, obesity, sedentary lifestyle and high blood pressure.
Socially isolated men (single, fewer than six friends and relatives with no social or religious affiliations) have a 90% risk of dying from cardiovascular disease, double the risk of having a non-fatal stroke, death due to cardiovascular disease, accident of suicide.
How to deal with social isolation
There are times in your life that you feel so socially isolated. The death of a spouse or moving away from a close friend, lack of close contact with children, and many others.
Or you can feel isolated because of what’s going on in your mind like a chronic disease, financial woes, abuse, or becoming a victim of online scams.
All these can make your self-worth take a nosedive, make you withdraw from the rest of humanity.
Lucky for you because all these are your own creations and only you can un-recreate them. Here are a few ways to do it:
Get busy
Getting busy is an excellent way of keeping your mind occupied; it makes you forget what it is that drove you into seclusion.
Know that you are not alone
If it is any consolation, whatever is bugging you is not peculiar to you. Somewhere out there, probably even a neighbor, is in a lot worse situation than you. Things are never as bad as they seem to be.
Enjoy your company
Do you know that more often than not, being isolated from the rest is a lot better than being in the midst of a group that brings you no inner satisfaction? That being alone by yourself is a lot more enjoyable than being with a bore?
So enjoy being alone with and by yourself. That’s the only way to take control of your life. everything you do, or everywhere you go.
Control your worries
“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength,”- Corrie ten Boom.
Which is precisely why you need to get out of your shell and get back to the mainstream. Social isolation (unless voluntary), accomplishes you nothing. But it can ruin everything.
~oOo~
