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Simple Acts of Gratitude Can Make You Healthier

Joseph Dabon — Wed, 02 Jan 2019 12:05:03 +0000

“Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude of what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.” – Zig Ziglar

If you doubt Zig’s wisdom, then you must be living a wretched and ungrateful life. How else could it be if you have forgotten how nice it feels to you say a sincere “Thank you,” for a good deed done on you Or when complimented for having done something worthwhile for others?

It felt good, didn’t it The feeling made your brain release millions of “feel good” hormones and made your heart sing with joy; it increased your self-worth and self-confidence.

That’s gratitude – give or take, you win. It’s like a toss of the coin with you winning whatever face comes up.

For centuries, gratitude has been considered necessary for individual and social well-being. Of late, various scientific research proved them right – gratitude is good for the health.

Research shows that grateful people are happier, healthier, and more motivated to exercise.

Gratitude makes you feel good, no doubt. But what is it?

What is Gratitude

Gratitude is an emotion which, according to Robert Emmons, a leading scientific expert on the subject, has two key components:

First: an affirmation of goodness; there are good things in this world, and we receive gifts and benefits.

Second: the sources of this goodness are outside of ourselves. We acknowledge that other people – or a higher power – gives us many benefits, big and small, to help us achieve the goodness in our lives.

Consistent gratefulness increases happiness and life satisfaction. It makes you optimistic, joyful, enthusiastic, and fills you with other positive emotions. And it reduces anxiety and depression.

Real gratitude is not a matter of quantity but quality. It is not based on wealth, good looks, or the best of health, but the appreciation of the little things you have which might have escaped your attention.

It is to be thankful for what you have and what you are.

For most, practicing real gratitude is not easy, or even natural. This is due to our primal instinct of reacting faster to threats or bad news. Our brains are more efficient in storing negative impulses.

For example, researchers have found out that in a day of 100 experiences where 99 of them are positive or neutral, our brain remembers more the one negative experience.

So how can exercise gratitude in the face of this chaotic and often ungrateful world?

Learning Gratitude

If gratefulness is not one of your core values, it’s high time to make it into one while you still can. It is not that difficult, really. Just as a habit is formed through constant repetition of an action, gratitude can be learned by doing the following consistently:

1. Say a prayer of thanks upon waking up each morning

Figures from the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) show that in 2007, about 1,066 Americans aged 65 to 74 die each day.

If you can pray, then you are not a part of this gruesome statistic. And that is something you should be very grateful for. The life of an elderly is like a toss of the dice – you never know what side comes up. So celebrate each new day.

2. Start your day with a cheerful heart

Go about your daily chores with a cheerful heart. It makes doing them easy and pleasurable – not a toil.

Be grateful that you are still strong and sane enough to do them. A lot are confined in hospitals or suffering from the desolation of a nursing home.

3. Filter your thoughts

Some experts estimate that your mind processes 2,100 thoughts per hour. And not all are positive thoughts. A lot of them does not reinforce your sense of gratitude.

Purge them out. There is no sense in going about your day burdened with energy-sapping or stressful thoughts.

Yes, it is not easy to be grateful if you are suffering from painful age-related illnesses. But they don’t go away be dwelling on them. They get worse. In fact, staying positive is your best antidote against pain.

A study done by Tetsuo Koyama, MD, PhD., at Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center, shows that positive thoughts decrease pain ratings by 28% – equivalent to a shot of morphine.

4. Practice sharing

A grateful heart is a happy heart. And happiness, to be complete must be shared.

Evan Spiegel said, “There’s real value in sharing moments that don’t live forever.”

But they do. For example, a heartfelt greeting of a neighbor or the mailman can produce a lasting impression. Or complementing the courteousness of your neighborhood grocery cashier, or the lovely garden of a neighbor can make them think highly of you.

5. Record your progress

Write down your day’s activities so you can see the areas where you expressed gratitude and you didn’t. The purpose is to troubleshoot those areas where gratitude was difficult or impossible to show.

Developing a habit cannot happen overnight. It takes a conscious, and sometimes difficult effort, the habit you need to develop. You will backslide many times. Hence, the need for a record to track your progress.

6. Say a prayer of thanks when you sleep at night

Meister Eckhart said, “If the only prayer in your entire life is to say Thank You, it will be enough.”

Not only must you express gratitude for having lived through the day, but prayers evoke positive emotions and promote better sleep. And studies show that people who pray each day tend to live longer than those who do not.

Practicing gratitude goes deeper than creating an aura of joyful and enriching experience both ways – the giver and the recipient. It also promotes better mental health.

Mental Health Benefits of Gratitude

Of late, the psychology world has trained its sight on the relation of happiness and emotional well-being.

Of particular interest in their curiosity is gratitude and how to harness and cultivate it to promote better physical and mental health.

Their studies, so far, have proven that gratitude can…

1. Improve self-esteem

Our digitally-connected world feeds us with things that can make us feel too fat or too skinny, or ugly. It sells us expensive shoes, bags, vacation destinations, upscale restaurants, and hotels.

While these are legitimate marketing ploys, they can make us feel inadequate if these are out of our reach. They fill us with self-doubt and inaccurate belief that we are not good enough as the guys next door

Practicing gratitude can remove that. By appreciating what you are and what you have, big or small, can increase your self-esteem; it makes you live a fuller and more contented life.

2. Promote better sleep

Going to bed free of any negative thoughts that eat your soul can make you sleep better.

Several studies show that people who practice gratitude sleep faster and have better.

3. Boost physical health

Robert Emmons did a study in 2003 to determine the effects of gratitude on people’s health.

The study shows that people who regularly practice gratitude are more likely to meet their exercise goals. They also engage in weekly cardiovascular activities.

It also shows that gratitude improves eating habits, and can cut down on unhealthy ones like smoking and alcohol abuse.

And an article in Psychology Today shows that people who practice gratitude have fewer aches and pains. They also visit their doctors for routine checkups.

4. Strengthen relationships

Practicing gratitude is the welcoming other people into your world and you, into theirs.

It engenders sharing and receiving, not only of physical things but of goodwill; of empathy. It removes the veil of uncertainty that commonly exists between people. Gratitude is like saying, “This is who I am and I am grateful for your friendship.”

It’s not always easy to practice gratitude because people have their own biases, proclivities, and worldviews. But it is worth the effort to give it your best. It is a key ingredient in living a healthier and happier life.

Image:http://www.allaboutseniors.org/a-grateful-survior

~oOo~

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To Use or Not to Use Online Dating Sites

Joseph Dabon — Fri, 25 Aug 2017 12:26:44 +0000

Online RomanceDo you use online dating sites I do. So do a lot of men and women worldwide.

In fact, about 40 million Americans use dating sites. Among them, the adult sector, 55 to 64 years old, is registering the fastest growth: from 6% in 2013 to 12% in 2015.

Dating sites have come a long way since it first appeared in 1995. By 2002, it had 26.6 million subscribers and by 2007, dating sites became the highest online industry with paid content (next to Porn).

Dating sites are far from porn sites though there have been complaints among women of men who want to engage in lascivious chats. They serve a good purpose of providing an online venue for people of the same interests, likes and dislikes, sexual orientation, and perhaps, sexual proclivities to meet.

While a few online dating encounters amounted to nothing more than one-night-stands, there are success stories, too. According to statistics, 20% of committed relationships started online and, in 2015, 7% of marriages resulted from casual online meet-ups.

Why use dating sites?

Relationship experts still agree that offline meeting is still the best way to connect with others, specifically of the opposite sex, but they are not downplaying the importance of these sites, as well.

However, nobody can give a specific answer to the question because people have different reasons and motivations that guide their actions.

But there are some common reasons, like:

1. It is more convenient:

You need not go out of your home to meet someone. You just log in and you are in a virtual place of unlimited relationship possibilities. For a first meet-up, it is also cheap.

2. There are more choices:

With thousands of members, your choices are practically limitless.

3. It removes the awkwardness:

Seniors who have been out of the dating circuit feel so self-conscious of their age, or health condition will find it awkward to meet someone the first time. Dating sites are very convenient for them.

4. It allows both parties to know each other more:

Dating sites allow both parties to get to know each other better. Should they take their online relationship to a higher level, it would be like meeting an old friend.

Pros and Cons of Dating Sites:

While membership in a dating site is fun, there are pros and cons to consider before getting too involved in them. These are:

Pro: The choices of people to make friends with is unlimited.

Con: “Too many cooks spoil the broth.” It can be very confusing that you can lose track of people you have befriended with. and you easily lose track of people you have befriended with.

Some of them are just collecting names but never interact, never answer messages.

Pro: You get to know a lot more about a person before meeting him/her should it comes to it.

Con: A lot of them lie. Their profiles don’t show the right personal information, such as age, name, marital status, and place of residence.

Some would use somebody else’s photos, while others will scam you like an unsuspecting LA woman who dined with a guy she met online, or the Florida guy who was robbed and killed after his second date with a woman he met online.

Pro: Meet people you may never meet any other way:

Con: Meeting people online is one thing, knowing who they really are is only possible through actual interaction.

Pro: One out of five relationships start online.

Con: “Easy come, easy go,” that’s how a lot of online relationships end.

I once met a very lovely woman online who proved to be a game-changer in my life. We had a whirlwind romance for the good part of three months until circumstances doused it cold, proving once again that “soul mates have already been taken.”

Always in my thoughts and in my heart.

I am using only one dating site but I have been a member of it for so many years. I have had the chance of meeting, offline, a lot of women I have befriended online. All of them, except the above, was as fleeting as the wind. Some meet-ups were memorable while most were grossly embarrassing.

Now I do it for fun. Surfing through all those women is a good way to take a break from the serious business of writing.

But I’ve learned two valuable lessons from it:

1. Never push your luck. Somewhere out there is a man or woman waiting for you. When fate wills that you meet, you will. And when that happens you will find out that he/she was worth waiting for.

2. Online dating sites are easy to use and easy to find someone to have a potential relationship with. It is cheap. But at the end of the day, offline encounters have higher chances for success.

Please share with others so they, too, will discover the fun, or sorry, that comes from using dating sites.

~oOo~

The post To Use or Not to Use Online Dating Sites first appeared on Age With Charm.