Ten years ago, I turned 60. A day before I did, I mused, “Tomorrow I will be 60 years old. What would life be like#8221;

Two days later, I found the answer, “It’s the same.” Life was still the same at 60 as it was at 59. The only earth-shattering event that came upon me was the unexpected death of my wife towards the end of the year.

The circumstances of her demise are something I could never forget. They haunt me every now and then. So far, I have succeeded (with much effort) in keeping them at bay. I can’t bring her back to life even if I cry buckets of tears. But I can fill my life with fun as a balm to ease the pain of her loss.

We are all scarred:

At this point in life, it is almost certain that you have had one or two traumatic experiences. It could be failed expectations, an errant child, a major career blunder, bankruptcy, an ugly divorce or death of a spouse, and many others.

They mark you. Like scars on your face, they bring back a deluge of painful memories each time you look at the mirror. Tears of sadness fill your lonely moments, making you feel melancholic and depressive.

But life must go on, so to speak. And dwelling on your past sorrows removes the fun out of living. It makes you miss all the wonderful things that surround you – hidden behind cobwebs of misery that cover your eyes.

Never give in:

Despite my scars, and at 70, I am having much fun – by force of will. Like all seniors, I am not impervious to age-related issues.

I have a constant bout against loneliness, a mild case of hypertension and my knees are ravaged by osteoarthritis. But in hindsight, I am more fortunate than others. Statistics show that:

• 4 in 5 seniors suffer at least one chronic condition or illness like heart disorders, arthritis, or osteoporosis. One half, at least two.
• People over 75 years old visit the doctor 3 times more often than people 22 to 44 years old.
• An estimated 1 in 10 senior citizens are victims of elder abuse, the intentional acts by a caregiver that lead to physical, psychological, or emotional harm.
• US poverty rates are highest for people 65 and older, with 10.5% living in poverty.

But will these problems disappear or go away if you dwell on them too much NO! They are your new realities. You cannot avoid them. You must embrace them for these issues can bring out the best in you.

And you can – if you give it much effort. Modern science and medicine have evolved so much since the time of your parents to provide coping strategies that will allow you to live a normal happy life until the end of your days.

Take heed from these lines of the song, Don’t Worry, Be Happy:

                               In every life, we have some trouble

                               But when you worry you make it double.

Never give in. Fight back or devise coping mechanisms. It’s fun, believe me. It’s like winning a game of hide-and-seek.

Bring out the child in you:

Cecelia Ahern said, “Age is just a number, not a state of mind…” – Cecilia Ahern.

Meaning you can be old in your youth, or youthful in old age. And what better time to be young than now – while you still can?

I derive so much fun from my writing, sprinkled with solo long drives, or an overnight stay in a remote island resort. Except for a few friends with the same bandwidth as mine, I relish being alone.

Should I feel like connecting with others, I can easily talk to anybody I meet. I can talk to the guy at the next table in a coffee shop, a street cleaner, a security guard, or anybody who don’t mind talking to an old stranger like. Most of all, I love talking to foreigners (good for my conversational English. LOL!).

What about you What gives you much fun?

Choice Connections lists 13 fun activities for seniors. They can be done solo, or in a group setting. If none of them appeals to the child in you, devise your own.

Join a singing group if your vocal cords can still handle the right notes. If you are still as nimble as a brown hare, join a dance club.

Having fun is personal. That’s why I drink alone or take long drives alone.

But whatever you do, don’t ever let age stop you from doing it.

 “Old age” as we currently know it is just a fictional story we tell ourselves. – Joseph F. Coughlin said, “Old age, as we currently know it, is just a fictional story we tell ourselves.”

Then adds, “It is not about plain survival, either. But having lots of fun.”

The last weekend of January was fun-filled for me. I was in for a ride to Bacolod with my daughter and son-in-law. We were part of a 13-can convoy of Toyota FG Cruisers – those big and expensive cars men suffering from mid-life crises play with.

I love trips like that for two reasons: First – I don’t have to spend anything (my daughter takes care of that, and, Second: I get to rub elbows with people who are successful in their careers.

There were four doctors in the group (my daughter and her hubby, and two others), the rest were businessmen. Some brought their families along, while a few came solo.  I had so much fun being immersed in the banter among the group. No, they don’t talk about serious stuff, except when they talk about their car accessories and what more to add.

Bacolod is one of the three bustling cities in Central Philippines (the other two are Cebu and Iloilo).

It has all the amenities of comfortable living (It is not so crowded as Cebu) and there are nice restaurants to dine in and tourist places to visit. It is peaceful and the people are great. nice. latest But they all had fun

If you are living in a very stifling, polluted and densely-populated city as I do, Bacolod is a great place to visit for a short break.

~oOo~

The post Old Age Should be Full of Fun, not Pain first appeared on Age With Charm.

Retirement these days is drastically different from a few years ago when it simply means to stop working, laze around the house entire day while living off a retirement pension.

Now, everybody wants to retire in style. They want to get the most out of it, i.e., spend their days the way they want to, engage in sports, travel, fine-dine at least once a week and, for singles, give love another go, and many others.

And they should. They owe it to themselves to loosen up and have fun after all those years of making a living. Now they should have a life.

Unfortunately, age-related issues like failing health, money, relationship problems, lack of a social network, etc., make all these unreachable for most.

Money is usually at the core of a retiree’s problems. It is estimated that 65 % of Americans retirees are having money difficulties. For them, getting the most of retirement is not the primary concern. Survival is.

For others who are getting by, though not lavishly, having fun at retirement is achievable and are having the best time of their lives.

How they do it may be a poser for those who have just joined the league of “old and happy men and women.” To set them off on the right track, here are some tips I learned through the years as a retiree:

1.  Manage your money:
Some people still cling to the saying that “money is the root of all evil.” If that is a beacon of their moral scrupples then let it be. But experience tells that nothing is worse than being old and poor.

So whatever financial resources you have, no matter how small, manage it well.

Limit your budget to cover the essentials, not the extras. Keep within your budget even if you have to go minimalist. Besides, abundance is not an ingredient for happiness. Contentment is.

Be content with what you have and be grateful for it. Remember that so many seniors are in worse situation than you.

Familiarize yourself with the provisions of Social Security and Medicare just in case you need financial relief from these institutions.

2.  Manage your health:
After money, the greatest spoiler of an enjoyable retirement is health issues. Statistics show that about 80% of seniors have at least one chronic disease (heart disease, cancer, stroke, and diabetes), and 77% have two.

If you are still healthy at your age, you have much to be thankful for. Most seniors that stand behind a drugstore’s counter carry a wad of prescription.

Even if you have one or two medical issues, don’t lose heart. Medicine and science have gotten to the level of allowing you to live a normal life despite these. But you have to be careful with your diet, get enough sleep and exercise regularly.

3.  Manage your relationships:
“Relationships,” covers not only your spouse, your children and immediate members of your family but also those within your social circle, like friends, work associates, former classmates, neighbors and everybody you have more-than-casual interaction.

Don’t by the grouchy old man. When you are old, you need all the friends you can count on. So make peace with those you had a falling out with, create new ones.

Don’t shut people out from your life. Going solo in old age is like committing suicide. We need people to talk to when we are lonely; people to help us with our personal needs when we are unable to do them; pick us up when we fall, or send us off when we die.

4.  Have lots of fun:
Are you having fun I am. Lots of it.

No, I don’t have a fortune in my bank account and, except for two or three people I can share my problems with without fear of having them go viral, I don’t have a large social circle either.

But I do have two wonderful kids who are supportive of my “oldishness”  and I am in excellent health.

Having fun, however, is not a matter of externals. It comes from a deep desire of giving life one last hurrah. Old age is the time to do what we never had the chance to do in our younger years, it is the time to be what we are meant to be.

So throw all inhibitions to the wind and have lots of fun. Don’t leave this world regretful of not having done the things you always wanted to do.

Please share with other seniors so they will also have the greatest time of their lives.

~oOo~

The post How to Get the Most Out of Retirement first appeared on Age With Charm.