A close friend is someone you can talk to about everything in confidentiality. He makes you feel comfortable, is not judgmental, and always there for you. He does not sell you out or bring you down for all the wealth in the world.

And they are as important as gold in old age because they get rarer each day due to death or incapacity.

Lest you get off track, all friendships are important especially in your senior years. Even casual friends can improve your social, emotional and physical well-being. And a strong circle of friends can boost heart health, and strengthens the immune system.

But one very close friend can do much more in relieving stress and depression. A close friend provides emotional support and comfort, and a good venue for a two-way communication.

A close friend is someone who remains standing with you when others have fallen or fled.

So if you still don’t have at least one, start working on it now.

How to develop close friendship(s)

It takes a long time of constant and cordial interaction to develop close friendship with someone. Sadly, relocation, infirmity or death often disrupts this life-long bonding leaving a lot of seniors lonely and pining for the “good old days.”

If you are one of them, don’t lose hope. You can start all over again. Be sure, however, to get the right one. Look for someone who…

1.  Can offer emotional support and guidance

A person willing to support you on a consistent basis through your highs and lows will good a good close friend. Someone who withers your emotional storms with you, and offer you guidance and advice when you need it.

2.  Knows when to give and when to take

Good friendships are based on mutuality. Some sort of “what is mine is yours,” in a lot of respect. While some people are natural givers, I know a few, but most are like piggy banks – they get fat on the good graces of others.

Both you should work on a balance of giving and taking. Anything short of that cannot sustain a healthy and long-lasting relationship.

3.  Brings out the best in you

Encourages you to become a better version of yourself.

He is supportive of your plans and helps your achieve your personal goals, and offers sound advice on issues that stump you.

In other words, he is your personal cheering squad.

4.  Are in the same wavelength with you

Being on the same wavelength does not mean agreeing on everything. It means being able to communicate with each other in clear, concise way. And should you disagree with each other, it would not result to a permanent parting of ways.

Even the best of friends can get into nasty fights. Somehow, they always find ways to mend fences and get on with their lives as if nothing happened.

Finding and developing close friendships in old age is difficult. But not impossible.

And if you don’t want to miss out on the importance of close friends in your life, it is best to start working to have one now.

Importance of close friends

We all need friends. From the time we come of age until we are grey and bent with age, we need them. They come and go until, in our seniors years, what’s left can be counted with the fingers – the close friends.

They are important because they…

1.  Complement you

In the U.S., nearly 12 million elderly people live alone according to the American Psychological Association. Away from family, or none at all, it would be difficult, if not impossible, for you to do some of your daily routine without a close friend.

Someone you can go the grocery with, or have a cup of coffee; to call in case or emergencies or to chat with to drive away loneliness.

2.  Help slow down mental health decay

Approximately, over 20% of adults, aged 60 above, suffer from a mental or neurological disorder, i.e., depression, anxiety disorders, bipolar disorders, etc.

Close friends can spot if something is right or wrong, provide emotional support and pursuing a healthy lifestyle. They also can help in seeking the right help should it be necessary.

3.  Keep you well-nourished

Studies show that live-along seniors do not prepare full, balanced meals resulting to malnutrition. To make matters worse is the fact that age induces a loss of appetite among a lot of seniors.

Eating is a social activity and having a close friend help prepare your food, or dine with you regularly can solve this problem.

3.  Help keep you in good physical shape

More than 31 million Americans age 50 and above don’t exercise. They keep the medical profession busy treating their heart disease, diabetes, cancer and other medical issues due to lack of exercise.

As a health-buff senior, I keep to my exercise schedule religiously. Others may need to be dragged out of bed to start sweating it out. If you are this type, a close friend will be very handy, indeed.

That may be putting it too harshly, but I know a lot of seniors who brisk walk or jog with a close friend. They talk, they banter, they joke as they go for a few laps. It’s kind of motivating.

4.  They don’t make you feel alone

It’s tough to be live alone. I know because I live alone. Though it is by choice but there are times when I ache for companionship, for somebody to talk to.

Though it is not so bad in my case because my daughter is just a short drive or a phone call away, but nothing beats having someone within reach, someone who is just across the road or over-the-fence away – such as a close friend.

Aging, and the changes it brings, is not for sissies. The lack of regular activities and shrinking social circle can take their toll on elderly people with less grit in their heart. It requires a strong determination to come out a winner each day. And winning is easier if there is a close friend who eggs you on, to motivate you to wake up each day with a smile. They help you live life to the fullest 

~oOo~

The post What are Close Friends and Why are They Important first appeared on Age With Charm.

In fact, about 40 million Americans use dating sites. Among them, the adult sector, 55 to 64 years old, is registering the fastest growth: from 6% in 2013 to 12% in 2015.

Dating sites have come a long way since it first appeared in 1995. By 2002, it had 26.6 million subscribers and by 2007, dating sites became the highest online industry with paid content (next to Porn).

Dating sites are far from porn sites though there have been complaints among women of men who want to engage in lascivious chats. They serve a good purpose of providing an online venue for people of the same interests, likes and dislikes, sexual orientation, and perhaps, sexual proclivities to meet.

While a few online dating encounters amounted to nothing more than one-night-stands, there are success stories, too. According to statistics, 20% of committed relationships started online and, in 2015, 7% of marriages resulted from casual online meet-ups.

Why use dating sites?

Relationship experts still agree that offline meeting is still the best way to connect with others, specifically of the opposite sex, but they are not downplaying the importance of these sites, as well.

However, nobody can give a specific answer to the question because people have different reasons and motivations that guide their actions.

But there are some common reasons, like:

1.  It is more convenient:

You need not go out of your home to meet someone. You just log in and you are in a virtual place of unlimited relationship possibilities. For a first meet-up, it is also cheap.

2.  There are more choices:

With thousands of members, your choices are practically limitless.

3.  It removes the awkwardness:

Seniors who have been out of the dating circuit feel so self-conscious of their age, or health condition will find it awkward to meet someone the first time. Dating sites are very convenient for them.

4.  It allows both parties to know each other more:

Dating sites allow both parties to get to know each other better. Should they take their online relationship to a higher level, it would be like meeting an old friend.

Pros and Cons of Dating Sites:

While membership in a dating site is fun, there are pros and cons to consider before getting too involved in them. These are:

Pro:  The choices of people to make friends with is unlimited.

Con:  “Too many cooks spoil the broth.” It can be very confusing that you can lose track of people you have befriended with. and you easily lose track of people you have befriended with.

Some of them are just collecting names but never interact, never answer messages.

Pro:  You get to know a lot more about a person before meeting him/her should it comes to it.

Con:  A lot of them lie. Their profiles don’t show the right personal information, such as age, name, marital status, and place of residence.

Some would use somebody else’s photos, while others will scam you like an unsuspecting LA woman who dined with a guy she met online, or the Florida guy who was robbed and killed after his second date with a woman he met online.

Pro:  Meet people you may never meet any other way:

Con:  Meeting people online is one thing, knowing who they really are is only possible through actual interaction.

Pro:   One out of five relationships start online.

Con:  “Easy come, easy go,” that’s how a lot of online relationships end.

I once met a very lovely woman online who proved to be a game-changer in my life. We had a whirlwind romance for the good part of three months until circumstances doused it cold, proving once again that “soul mates have already been taken.”

I am using only one dating site but I have been a member of it for so many years. I have had the chance of meeting, offline, a lot of women I have befriended online. All of them, except the above, was as fleeting as the wind. Some meet-ups were memorable while most were grossly embarrassing.

Now I do it for fun. Surfing through all those women is a good way to take a break from the serious business of writing.

But I’ve learned two valuable lessons from it:

1.  Never push your luck. Somewhere out there is a man or woman waiting for you. When fate wills that you meet, you will. And when that happens you will find out that he/she was worth waiting for.

2.  Online dating sites are easy to use and easy to find someone to have a potential relationship with. It is cheap. But at the end of the day, offline encounters have higher chances for success.

Please share with others so they, too, will discover the fun, or sorry, that comes from using dating sites. 

~oOo~

The post To Use or Not to Use Online Dating Sites first appeared on Age With Charm.