“Why do you drink alone#8217;

My date asked me this question over a few beers at City Times Square a month ago.

Before I go into it, here’s a quick rundown of the place.

City Times Square is a two-story building 15  minutes drive from my home. It is my favorite Saturday-evening hangout because it transforms into a hub of excitement after sundown.

How?

Because every square inch of the Square is full of things people crave at the end of a hectic week, i.e., coffee shops, restaurants, resto-bars, a disco, a karaoke bar, and just about anything that spells fun and excitement.

The choice of food is international, i.e. Japanese, Korean, Chinese, Middle Eastern, Indian, and, of course, the ever-present Filipino cuisine which is a mishmash of everything edible.

Needless to say, the crowd is just as varied. Sipping coffee at Dunkin Donuts is like sitting in the lobby of the United Nations Building – peoples from different parts of the world pass by in a blur.

And it is in this setting my 40-yr-old date asked why I drink alone.

I said, “Look around. Can you see another 69-yr-old guy having a beer with a lovely woman like you at this time of the night?

I drink alone because guys my age are either dead, sickly, or contented to watch the NBA games or the latest news on TV.”

Not me…

Drinking alone, to most people is weird; lackluster. It is devoid of the fun alcohol draws out from even the meekest of men.

But drinking alone is my idea of fun. I find it liberating. It frees me from the drudgery of boring people and I can “find” myself. Without the noise of a crowd allows me to update my bucket list.

You are dead even as you live:

When people get to this age, thoughts of death flutter in their minds; they become anxious about the curtain falling down on them anytime, and there is no encore.

But to dwell on this is stressful. It’s like being on the edge all the time.

That’s not all…

Thinking about negative things make your body react negatively. It makes you lose enthusiasm, affects your diet, your sleep, and many other things that will rot your mind and body.

In short, you are already dead even as you live.

Not me. I want to go with my boots on; to live life as I have never lived before. I want people to say, “He died a happy man. Having done everything, missing nothing.”

And you can do it. You can rev up your life no matter how old you are. Nobody’s going to stop you from doing things younger people do – provided you won’t act and look like a jerk or a spoiled brat.

Behavior and action:

I came across this on Quora: “Why do people at age 65 and above want to act younger when their life is already 85% over#8221;

And why not Whoever said that you cannot do things younger people do?

Never let age be a hindrance to your happiness. Do whatever it is you want while you can. Don’t breathe your last with much regret for having missed a lot of things.

But do behave according to the norms of an educated and civilized society.

I can drink to my delight, provided I won’t let alcohol take over my sense of propriety. Being old carries with it some responsibilities, like being a paradigm of good behavior.

My daughter doesn’t mind my solo long drives or overnight stays on remote islands or date women 30 years younger because she knows I know how to behave my age.

Yes, you can be as retro as you like, provided you don’t behave like a retrograde.

Please spread the message by sharing it with other oldies.

~oOo~

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The post Going 70 but Revving like a Guy at 50 first appeared on Age With Charm.

I am not anti-social, but more often than not, I relish to be alone.

While most people take being “alone” as solitude or loneliness, it is not. At least, it does not have the same negative connotation as its cousins.

Being alone isn’t bad if it is a deliberate choice. On the other hand, it can be healthy and something we all must have more of.

As a writer, being alone is a part of the trade. But if I want to have a temporary respite from it, I do either of two things: spend an evening in an island beach resort or take a long drive.

I did the latter two Sundays ago by driving north of Cebu, then turned west towards the towns Tabuelan, Tuburan, Asturias, and Balamban.

I started off at 6:30 am and, 242 kms and 9 hours later, was back home, tired and hungry but joyful for having fulfilled another item on my bucket list.

Long drives are physically demanding, but a lot cheaper than flying somewhere, and each has different things to offer, yet gratifying to mind and soul in very much the same way.

Benefits of long drives:
I take long drives to scratch an itch – the itch of hitting the road and breeze through places I’ve never been to before, punctuated by short breaks to stretch, eat, talk to people and take pictures.

These apparently senseless way to spend a day are beneficial the following ways:

1.  It is fun:
Doing something outside of your routine is fun. Being out there with nothing to care about is fun, and living out the things you want to do is fun.

To be in a strange place, talking to people you haven’t met before, nor will ever meet again, is fun.

There are risks, of course. But they make long drives even more fun. Calculated risks test your mettle, your resourcefulness, and your ability to survive in unfamiliar conditions.

2.  Relieves mental fatigue:
Most people relate fatigue with physical fatigue. It is rarely mentioned when people feel tired, sluggish and drowsy for no apparent reason.

Physical fatigue is done with after a few hours of sleep. Mental fatigue is more difficult to handle because it has different symptoms such as insomnia, loss of appetite, anxiety, depression, forgetfulness and feelings of lethargy without any reason.

It’s like a brain-crash. You lose interest in doing anything because your mental processes freeze.

Mental fatigue is often caused by medical issues. But if you are healthy, yet feel its symptoms, take a long drive before it becomes one.

Long drives relax your brain and allow it to sort the kinks that are keeping it from functioning properly.

3.  Informative and educational:
Long drives provide a wealth of information along the way. Some are funny, strange, and even worrisome like when I lost one of my bakes in the first town I passed through.

Luckily, I was led to a mechanic who condemned my rear right wheel brake. He did a marvelous job that I was able to go on my journey with three brakes functioning.

I love to take photos of street scenes and talk to people in every stop. The things you learn from them may not be useful, but getting connected with others is an excellent mental exercise.

The Filipinos are a friendly lot, bordering on being over-felicitous. They never pass the opportunity of making strangers feel at home.

This is probably due to his strong religious culture as manifested by the presence of a church in every town, no matter how small.

4.  It beats boredom:
Aside from the itch to hit the road, getting away from boredom is another reason why I often take long drives.

The nemesis of live-alone seniors is to be cooped up in the same four walls of home day-after-day. While the home may be where the heart is, after a while, it can feel like a cage.

You see the same thing, smell the same thing, feel the same thing. Everything is the same making your world look like an empty box of gray.

Before it drives you nuts, get in your car and drive wherever you want to go.

The feeling is liberating. To feel the gust of wind against your face is therapeutic. To see different colors swirling around you, different songs of the birds, and hear the waves hit the shore are an excellent way of breaking the humdrum of home.

5.  Gives you control of yourself:
My friends find my solo long drives weird. They think it rather dangerous, if not boring.

But that is the whole point of being alone – to be free from the influences and hindrances a companion would certainly cause.

Solo long drives give you total control of yourself, i.e., when to start or stop, or go to a toilet to pee; you can eat wherever and whatever you want without having to discuss the matter with someone.

You can take your own pace and not be stressed along the way.

It is the only time where you can entirely have a space of your own without having to consider other’s thoughts, ideas, or opinions. There is absolutely no disagreement or comprises if you go solo

Should you, at your age, drive Why not

Though there is a running debate whether elderly people should drive or not, if you still can, you should.

Age does affect our vision, our responses, our sense of direction and many other medical conditions that limit a senior’s ability to handle the physical demands of long drives, but they should not deter you from giving it a try if you can still get behind the wheel.

Today is the time of doing something different, something exciting and something you may not have done before, or ever will.

To make it safer, get a medical clearance before hitting the road and turn on your smartphone’s GPS to be constantly connected with your loved ones.

During my drive, I texted my daughter in each town I was in – even my brake problem.

Please share with others so other seniors can appreciate the joys and benefits of long drives.

~oOo~

The post Do You Want to be Alone Take a Solo Long Drive first appeared on Age With Charm.