You don’t need to be lonely because you live alone, or lacking in social interaction.
Take a lesson from the 2 guys in prison who, one night, looked outside of their cells through the prison bars.
One guy saw the beautiful full moon set against a dark sky, dwarfing the millions of twinkling little stars in the background.
The other guy saw the mud below.
Of course, it is never nice to be behind bars, but there is always a silver lining in every situation you are in. And you have a choice whether to fixate on the dark clouds or peer through its thickness to see the bright sunshine behind.
You can wallow in your loneliness until death, or shake it off and live a happy and fruitful life – like many other elderly people do.
Loneliness is not peculiar to you. A study done by the University of California, San Francisco (UCSF), shows that 18% of elderly people in the U.S. live alone. Of this figure, 43% of them are chronically lonely.
That leaves more than half being able to shake off loneliness; more than half enjoying their golden years.
And it is not difficult to be one of them – just focus on the moon, not on the mud. It may take a lot of determined effort. But it is worth it. Besides, being alone has its own benefits not appreciated by seniors living with family.
Benefits of Living Alone
Living alone can seem daunting at first. Your mind is ridden with uncertainties and fears of things you may not be able to cope with should they happen – and they do. But they are all well within your capability to survive.
And when things settle down, you will begin to appreciate the benefits of living alone such as:
Independence
Living alone frees you from being told to do this or that, when to go to bed, to rise, to eat your breakfast. You can eat whatever you want to eat, when and where.
You can go anywhere when you want to and can even go around your home naked. LOL!
Living alone spares you the discomfort of being with someone you don’t have much in common with.
Self-reliance
Another benefit of living alone is self-reliance. By force of necessity, you will learn how to clean your home, coke, do the laundry, iron your clothes, tend to the garden, and many more.
If you want to, you can do little carpentry and minor repair work, saving you a few precious dollars.
Introspection
Living alone gives you much time to dig deep inside you and get to know yourself better; the person you want to be and how to spend the rest of your life.
Living alone is to be at peace with self. It is to be free of noise that can make your heart palpitate, of the constant clash of personalities, of having to “toe the line” set by the younger members of the family drawn for their elderly.
If you live alone, you can feel the rhythm of your heartbeat, you can hear your thoughts.
You can go about your daily chores unimpeded by others.
Taking a full dose of these benefits won’t be easy. It requires banishing the thoughts of loneliness – which can be a daily skirmish. I live alone and I know how it feels. So far, I am winning by doing these simple things we are well-familiar with.
How to Banish Loneliness from Your Life
If you know the negative consequences of loneliness on your health and well-being, you will know how imperative it is to banish it from your life. Being rid of it is as important as food and water and good sleep. You can do that through these simple and easy steps…
1. Be grateful
Be grateful for what you have, large or small. Not only does it make you feel good, but it also nourishes your mind and body. It lowers your blood pressure, boosts your immune system, and promotes better sleep.
Start your day by saying a little prayer of gratitude for seeing another sunrise, hear the songs of the birds, and the tiny and colorful butterflies flitting from flower to flower. Not many of your age is as blessed as you are.
2. Don’t be envious
Envy causes anxiety and discontent – two ingredients for stress. It raises your blood pressure, heart rate, your adrenaline, and weakens your immune system.
Envy destroys your self-esteem and self-confidence and puts you in a constant desire for something that may not be important for your well-being.
3. Lower your expectation of others
Don’t cast people into your own worldview. You will be disappointed and withdraw into your idea of a “perfect world.”
People are unreliable. They are fickle. And they are interested in themselves than you or anything you adhere to or believe in.
Accept them as they are. Learn from them, even as you retain your own uniqueness.
4. Socialize
Go out of your humdrum existence and socialize with your peers. Interacting with others is a mood-booster and a hedge against depression. It also helps build a strong immune system and lowers the risk of dementia.
Reach out to other seniors in your community, in your church or in your local chapter of elderly organizations.
5. Keep busy
Loneliness is a fruit of idleness. So if you want to banish it from your life be busy as a bee.
Nobody dies from fatigue, but many from idleness. It keeps your mind away from your lonesomeness, and it is a good exercise. Besides, the satisfaction of having accomplished something is so exhilarating.
As innocuous it may seem, loneliness is deadly. It kills you softly. And to die from having lost a purpose due to loneliness will create a ripple that will reach the remotest of your friends and acquaintances. And do you know what they will say? “How sad.”
Don’t let that happen to you. Banish it from your life while you still can.
Joseph Dabon
I am an experienced blogger and freelance writing focusing on mental health, marketing, and personal finance.
